While traveling in Russia during the days of the USSR, a traveler checks into a shared hotel room (who can afford a private one these days?), and is annoyed to find that the other guests in the room are staying up drinking vodka and getting louder in their criticism of the government as the night goes on.

He goes down to the front desk, orders some tea from room service, and returns to the room. Once there, he gets down on his hands and knees, crawls under the table, and says into the electric outlet, “Sergeant Smorodin, would you mind sending up some tea?” The others laugh at this, but a few minutes later fall silent and quickly go to bed when the tea shows up. Satisfied, the traveler goes to sleep.

In the morning, he awakes to find police hustling the other guests out of the room. As the last one closes the door, he says “You’re lucky, comrade – the sergeant liked your joke.”

While traveling in Russia during the days of the USSR, a traveler checks into a shared hotel room (who can afford a private one these days?), and is annoyed to find that the other guests in the room are staying up drinking vodka and getting louder in their criticism of the government as the night goes on.

He goes down to the front desk, orders some tea from room service, and returns to the room. Once there, he gets down on his hands and knees, crawls under the table, and says into the electric outlet, “Sergeant Smorodin, would you mind sending up some tea?” The others laugh at this, but a few minutes later fall silent and quickly go to bed when the tea shows up. Satisfied, the traveler goes to sleep.

In the morning, he awakes to find police hustling the other guests out of the room. As the last one closes the door, he says “You’re lucky, comrade – the sergeant liked your joke.”

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him.

‘Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?’ she asked.

Sartre looked up from his reading and replied, ‘Yes, I’d like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream.’

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to his book. However, the waitress returned a few minutes later with a concerned look on her face. ‘I’m sorry, Monsieur Sartre,’ she said, ‘but we are all out of cream. Is it alright if we make you coffee with no milk?’

I always think about this joke when people say they’re going to boycott a place they never were going to shop at in the first place.

The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him.

‘Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?’ she asked.

Sartre looked up from his reading and replied, ‘Yes, I’d like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream.’

Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to his book. However, the waitress returned a few minutes later with a concerned look on her face. ‘I’m sorry, Monsieur Sartre,’ she said, ‘but we are all out of cream. Is it alright if we make you coffee with no milk?’

I always think about this joke when people say they’re going to boycott a place they never were going to shop at in the first place.

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%U r89nvy owmc63Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%U r89nvy owmc63Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

What’s the most intellectual joke you know? : AskReddit

Bob was now Brother Robertus, and this was his first day at the monastery. He went out to the bean fields with 20 of the other Brothers at 5 AM, and weeded in the hot sun. At 8 AM a bell rang, all the field workerschanted, “morning,” and they filed off to breakfast. Then they toiled from 10 AM to 2 PM, and the bell sounded again. The monks chanted ”afternoon,” and went off to lunch. They worked from 4 PM to 7 PM when the bell sounded once more. 

By this time Brother Robertus was sure he had caught on. He stood up and intoned, “evening.” Everyone else was silent. Finally, one Brother said, “Someone chanted, ‘evening.’ He must be a stranger.”

Bob was now Brother Robertus, and this was his first day at the monastery. He went out to the bean fields with 20 of the other Brothers at 5 AM, and weeded in the hot sun. At 8 AM a bell rang, all the field workerschanted, “morning,” and they filed off to breakfast. Then they toiled from 10 AM to 2 PM, and the bell sounded again. The monks chanted ”afternoon,” and went off to lunch. They worked from 4 PM to 7 PM when the bell sounded once more. 

By this time Brother Robertus was sure he had caught on. He stood up and intoned, “evening.” Everyone else was silent. Finally, one Brother said, “Someone chanted, ‘evening.’ He must be a stranger.”